Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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