It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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