The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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