WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
