I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize