Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
