I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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