some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she pinky promised me she was 18
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
