Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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