Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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