when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
