I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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