fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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