grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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