i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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