11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
