theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
