hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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