There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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