watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
