I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
