He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
