woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
