I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
