return my video game
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
