If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
