I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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