Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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