Yo dont text me then not text me
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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