I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
