I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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