why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
where does the pee come out of this thing
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
