We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
