Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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