id be glad to
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
