i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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