I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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