the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize