I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
