That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
