where am i from again
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
