ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
