Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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