I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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