I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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