I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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