if i can run in heels then i can drive
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
