if only i could text you this smell
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize