Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize