Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
