I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
