you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
