Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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