so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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