you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
