I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
