I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
