i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
