Umm I'm too high to move.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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