I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
